This site has been awefully quiet for way too many months now.
tl;dr
...but this site is not done, yet.
/tl;dr
I've had it already drafted on my computer; a posting, that I get old (really, I do...), that I've got a house, a beautiful wife, a cute daughter, a second kid on the way, a (hopefully) career job, short: a really fulfilling but also demanding "real" life and that I more and more lack the time & energy to hang out at shows and continue this project the way I once did (obviously). I wanted to conclude that I do a couple of more shows and then end this project. I've even picked these shows, with Bane's farewell tour being the last shows to shoot.
Wednesday night, I went to the first of these "last" shows (Break Even, Landscapes & Endless Heights; pics will be uploaded soon!); it was actually the first show since October last year (sic!) for me. And, of course, how could it be different, it taught me, what I have missed for so long. The energy, the passion, the community. I couldn't care less, that I'm tired as hell the day after. How could I've ever thought about giving up on this?
So, actually, this shouldn't be a time to regret, a posting to mourn after me stopping to go to hardcore shows, but an opportunity to be thankful. Thankful for what I was so lucky to experience in the past years and what's still part of my life.
I went to one of my first hardcore shows about 15 (?) years ago. (I had actually seen other hardcore bands before, but only as part of larger bills or festivals; so this time "deliberately" a hardcore show...) It was Boysetsfire in the youth club "Forellenhof" in Salzgitter, Germany. I clearly recall their set (or at least the way I remember it): The band started playing "after the eulogy", this tiny, rising snare drum roll in the beginning building up anticipation. When the song kicked in, an energy erupted I've never felt before: half the room burst onto stage screaming with the singer this one word, "RISE!", piling onto each other, stagediving back into the crowd. From that moment on I knew, that this energy, this passion was all I'd ever sought in music and that I would ever need from now on.
Fast forward through the years, countless shows visited, more than 200 shows played with my own bands, and still I love to feel this energy again and again. To witness how band and audience become one, the passion of words screamed, the chaos erupting when there's no difference between on-stage and off-stage... Like for so many, hardcore became no temporary taste in music for me, but is apt to be a constant through everything else that changes.
Back then, I quickly realized that hardcore is not just another style of music to consume, but is a scene that everyone can be part of and contribute to. It was so easy to get involved and create something. I started a first band, and a few others should follow the next years. Looking back, I can honestly say, we've done it all: we've played a show in front of an audience of only tour mates and staff but no a single paying guest, we've played a huge festival stage with barrieres and securities and everything, we've played a squatted house with a dog taking a dump right in front of the stage (totally unrelated to our musical performance, though...), we've checked in into a personal backstage room for our band, we've spent days and nights in the tour van in the absence of another place to sleep, someone payed plane tickets for our band to play a show in a different country, I've played a hardcore cover set on a wedding party with a crowdsurfing groom and so much more... All converging into one of the greatest nights of my life, a final show that sold out in 20min with everyone screaming word by word from the start to the final song.
Moments that will define me for the rest of my life. Experiences that can only be found in the hardcore scene. Things I don't take for granted, but I'm thankful for.
Time for touring got less and less, bandmates moved away. Starting a photography project about 6 years ago brought me down another route, still allowing me to get involved. The question was, how to capture the intensity of the moment of hardcore shows? Starting just locally, then traveling beyond my hometown. In the past years I've been able to shoot way more than 150 bands including many of my favorite bands ever and I got in contact with lots of people from all over the world. I was asked to regularly publish my pictures in a webzine, found my shots on a couple of record covers and merch items, even had a few pictures featured in a DIY photo exhibition in HongKong; how cool is that?!
And once again, I am deeply grateful for a scene allowing me to experience all this.
So what's next?
This is not going to end just now!
I know, "shooting as many shows a possbile" became "shooting at least one show a month" became "it would be nice to shoot a show from time to time" sometimes even becomes "let's browse through the old pictures"... but all this still feels way too great to get out of it!
Admittedly, this site will most likely see only a handful of updates per year at best. I'll try to pick a few favorites from the show calendar and maybe I'm lucky and be able to shoot one or the other.
Other than that?
Wednesday night, I saw a father with his maybe 12-year-old kid in the audience. How great is that? I guess that's the example to strive for... Still being a part of this but at the same time passing the torch onward...
And I will cherish the memories of what this scene allowed me to experience, again and again.
Sincerely, Thank you!
XXX
